Here's the alphabetical master list of Zakuro's myriad methods (and their Secret Origins, as revealed by myself and accomplice Avalon Jones) in the "Zakuro's Hundred-Grand Mind-Mess of DOOOOOOM!" Contest!

1. Zakuro's Aerosol Cheese of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/kuons/kuons.html) -KQ: Because it sprays out, and it's cheese--that's a double dose of evil right there!

2. Zakuro's All-Natural Penis-Enlargement Product of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/sbatb/sbatb.html) -AJ: Anyone with an e-mail account knows what this is. Zakuro was probably driven to madness by his failed get-rich-quick scheme of selling these wondrous medications to short-shafted men the world over.

3. Zakuro's Astronaut Ice Cream of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/snnarch2.html) -AJ: This is a product of the "Astronauts are cool" thing that swept the country when the Apollo program was in effect. This strange snack is freeze-dried ice cream, usually available only in Neopolitan flavor, and resembling a chunk of styrofoam decorated with pink, white and brown stripes. Allegedly it tastes pretty good, but I can't vouch for that.

4. Zakuro's Baby Marshmallow Circus Peanuts of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/mugen/mugen.html) -KQ: This might've been funnier as "Neo-Natal Marshmallow Circus Peanuts," but unfortunately that didn't occur to me until now...

5. Zakuro's Barney Google & Sparky Tijuana Bible Collection of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/coupl/ksjo.html) -KQ: Space contraints unfortunately made an already-obscure thing even more so. "Sparky" is Spark Plug, Barney Google's horse in the comic strip that started in the 1910s (and continues today as "Barney Google and Snuffy Smif"). A "Tijuana bible" is actually the forerunner of a doujinshi: a pocket-sized amateur comic, mostly done in the '20s and '30s, featuring popular cartoon characters of the day doing the nasty or having it done to them. A Barney and Sparky one exists (Sparky x Barney!); saw it on eBay a few years ago.

6. Zakuro's Bay City Rollers Fan Club Kit of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/azki/azki.html) -KQ: This actually started as a Banana Splits Fan Club Kit, one of the most treasured posessions of my tender youth, but it was felt that the Bay City Rollers were even more tacky (which takes some doing!).

7. Zakuro's Big Bowl of Urkel-O's of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/an/gaidencel.html) -KQ: I can't even remember what show Urkel was on now (had to look it up: Family Matters), but he was this annoying geeky character whose popularity among the pre-teen set spawned Urkel-O's cereal in the early '90s. Earlier this year the always-entertaining site The Sneeze documented the opening and eating of a 14-year-old box of Urkel-O's; that popped unbidden into mind in the wee hours when captioning the Zakuro images, and a totally unplanned method was born!

8. Zakuro's Big Jim Action Winnebago of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/there1.html) -AJ: The Big Jim action doll was an attempt to horn in on the G.I. Joe market in the '70s, and although it ultimately failed, it had a lot of fans. And the sturdy, ugly Winnebago, as much of a dinosaur as it is, is still around, although these days they're a tad more graceful in design than they were back then. It's far too easy for me to picture Zakuro on his hands and knees in the dirt, pushing this toy around and making "brrrrmmm!" sounds.

9. Zakuro's Black Velvet Painting of Daffy Duck of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/flosno/flosno.html) -AJ: Kagenami and I once lived in Gaithersburg, Md., home to quite a few nifty thrift shops. During one visit to one such shop, we noticed a couple of black-velvet paintings high up on a wall, both of them evidently produced by an extremely amateur artist. One of them had a picture of the devil's head (or at least a grinning red guy with horns and a pointy beard) in the middle, surrounded by a border of drug paraphenalia: syringes, needles, marijuana leaves, etc. The other was of Daffy Duck. It was a '40s-era Daffy and looked like the sort of cartoon-character images you sometimes see painted on the noses of aircraft; evidently painted by someone who saw said cartoon character out of the corner of their eye for about one-thousandth of a second, 20 years ago, and has been asked to paint said character from memory. The subjects of most black-velvet paintings tend to be Elvis, Malcom X, or naked ladies...but, Daffy Duck? It scared even us--and we're fearless!

10. Zakuro's Charming Handcrafted Country Collectibles of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/coupl/cih.html) -AJ: Also in Gaithersburg, there was a whole store full of this stuff. Tin cutout silhouettes of cows with raffia tied around their necks. Stuffed pigs made of gingham fabric. Old slate chalkboards with ripe red apples painted on them. Faux-distressed old farm tools. Like almost any other sort of item, if you put too much of one sort of thing together in one place, 1) it loses any impact it might have if it was by itself, and 2) it gets creepy. These days my own aversion to this class of collectibles approaches phobia levels, and I will make significant detours to avoid them.

11. Zakuro's Deck of Naughty Naked-Lady Playing Cards of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/redc/redc.html) -AJ: This standard bad-boy furtive possession can be found at your friendly neighborhood porn shop, Spencer Gifts, and lotsa places on line, no doubt.

12. Zakuro's Deluxe Pokemon Sleeping Bag of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/anth/anth.html) -KQ: This hadn't been planned, but with a leftover image of a horizontal Zakuro, a sleeping bag seemed like a pretty snickersome idea. Zakuro has sweet dreams of replacing that Kotaro/James guy in Team Rocket...he's already got the hair for the job!

13. Zakuro's Easy Bake Oven of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/mido/mido.html) -KQ: This little plastic marvel has the ability to not only cook with a lightbulb, but also fry your mind with its high-voltage hyphen. See, although its correct name is "Easy-Bake Oven," I mistakenly did not type the hyphen when captioning the image. And yet, check it out--the missing hyphen appears to be there! It might be a highlight along the top of Zakuro's foot...and then again, it might be that missing hyphen searing its way into the space between "Easy" and "Bake," its accustomed place for the last 41 years! I sure ain't gonna argue with a hyphen that determined, so both "Easy Bake" and "Easy-Bake" were counted as correct.

14. Zakuro's Flame-Retardant Wile E. Coyote Halloween Costume of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/coupl.html) -AJ: Probably manufactured by Ben Cooper, and probably available at a retail cost of about $4.99, this thoroughly ugly polyester-fabric costume--sort of like a jumpsuit that would go on over your regular clothing and would fool positively nobody--with slightly freaky plastic mask (which was held onto your face with a rubber band around the back of your head, and which would get all sweaty inside as the trick-or-treating wore on) would probably come in a flat box with a plastic window in the front of it, through which you could see your new identity. The flame-retardant qualities are very important, because heaven knows there's all those crazy kids running around with flamethrowers on Halloween.

15. Zakuro's Fuzzy Dice of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/an/homuracel.html) -KQ: Those ubiquitous fake-fur-covered cubes found swinging from car rear-view mirrors. A favorite of low-riders everywhere!

16. Zakuro's Garden Weasel of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/genju/genju.html) -KQ: This gardening tool with the too-great name has spinny spiky wheels on the end of a pole, to terrorize the hell out of growing things it gets thrust among--Zakuro was probably a Garden Weasel in a prior life. (Maybe 500 years ago he was a Gaiden Weasel?)

17. Zakuro's Give-A-Show Projector of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/an/fukucel.html) -AJ: Another favorite childhood toy of mine, this vaguely gunlike object was like a compact slide projector--it had a lens and a light source, and could be pointed at a blank area on the wall, a door, your grandma's posterior, etc., and the pictures (mounted in long, narrow cardboard strips, like a bunch of slides all mounted in the same carrier) would be projected onto said surface. The one I had came with a Jonny Quest strip. There was also text printed on the pictures at the bottom, so you could read it aloud for the benefit of all. These things were almost as much fun as Film Strip Day at school, except there was no "boop!" noise to remind you to advance the frame.  But that's okay--we were pretty good at doing that "boop!" noise ourselves.

18. Zakuro's Headless Lawn Goose of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/nero/nero.html) -AJ: Several years ago, there was a house situated on a main drag not far from my house that had a unique decorating scheme in their front yard: a large assortment of wicked-cool castoff junk in artistic arrangements among the shrubbery. There was a full-size old-style salon hairdryer, a card table with various styles of chairs arranged around it, and even a motorcycle, poised as if about to take off in a daredevil leap over the plantings. One of the items in their display was one of the ubiquitous cement lawn geese--except this one had had an unfortunate accident and was minus its head and part of its neck. Not being a big fan of lawn geese, I thought this was pretty funny. Many people thought these tableux were edgy and artistic; unfortunately, there were more who sneered at it as "junk" and "an eyesore." Sadly, at some point the rest of the neighborhood got into a high moral dudgeon about this house, and demanded that the city force the house's occupants to remove the decorations.

19. Zakuro's Hypno-Helio Static Statis of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/juras/juras.html) -KQ: Am ashamed to say there's a typo here; as any Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan knows, the name of this powerful property should be "Hypno-Helio Static Stasis," not "Statis." So thoroughly did Zakuro do his job, though, a few people actually did read it "Stasis"! Since it was my goof, both "Statis" and "Stasis" were counted as correct.

20. Zakuro's Inflatable Pornographic Clown Ring-Toss Game of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/hapgl/hapgl.html) -AJ: I took a photography class when I was in college. Once we had to do a photo essay of some sort, and I got it into my head that I'd go into this porn shop I'd spotted on 2nd Avenue and take photos of the merchandise there--probably to illustrate the theme of moral decay or whatever it was the essay was about. So I entered the shop, feeling massively self-conscious but trying to appear casual, even though I was toting an SLR camera (large and heavy by today's digital-camera standards) and trying, not entirely successfully, to conceal it under my jacket. There were sales staff and other people in the store, but I was able to sneak shots of the crotchless-panties display, the pre-ventilated teddies, and other "adult novelties" without any trouble at all. Then I spied the most horrible thing I'd ever seen: an inflatable clown about 2 feet high, vaguely resembling Emmett Kelly's "Tramp" character. He came with several plastic rings that you could toss at him, to get a ringer on his top hat, his big red nose, and, uh...his outsize erect penis. Yecch. Somewhere I still have the photo I took of this wondrous item, but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I can't find it now.

21. Zakuro's Inside-The-Shell Egg Scrambler of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/relric8.html) -KQ: One of those Ronco inventions As Seen On TV, now souped up by Zakuro to double as a handy brain-scrambler!

22. Zakuro's "It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown!" Colorforms Set of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/kyoga/kyoga.html) -AJ: I loved Colorforms! I still do, in fact. This particular set makes its appearance as a relic of the sad time when the Peanuts folks decided to try to be hip and go disco. (Note from KQ: In the font used in captioning the images, the comma looks an awful lot like a period...so both "It's Flashbeagle," and "It's Flashbeagle." were counted as correct.)

23. Zakuro's Jet-Puffed Miniature Marshmallows of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/yuery/yuery.html) -KQ: Hey, he's got three thingies on a string, and we couldn't call them "jingle bells" because it's already been done...

24. Zakuro's Jingle Bells of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/relric13.html) -KQ: Where it all began! When Zakuro made his grand comeback with a trio of less-than-menacing jingle bells in Saiyuki RELOAD GUNLOCK #22, the Yammer for that episode remarks, "It turns out Sanzo was in his power all along...ever since hearing the first faint sound of Zakuro's Jingle Bells Of Doooooooom!"

25. Zakuro's Leopard-Spotted Barca Lounger of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/tzone/tzone.html) -AJ: The only thing particularly wrong with a Barca Lounger is its name, which makes you think of a chair specifically made for a dog. And anything is even more cheerfully tacky with leopard spots on it.

26. Zakuro's Lidsville Lunchbox of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/suray/suray.html) -AJ: Lidsville was another one of Sid and Marty Krofft's "We got stoned and decided it would be cool to share the experience with children worldwide!" TV shows from the early 1970s. Less successful and less widely-known than its precursor, H.R. Pufnstuf, this show (about a community of "living hats," an extremely creepy concept when you stop and think about it) was nonetheless a childhood favorite of mine. But like many things from my childhood, it has not held up well, and viewing a couple episodes a few years ago was a nearly fatally toxic experience. And lunchboxes are cool! Who doesn't love lunchboxes? Maybe Zakuro wouldn't have been so messed up inside if he'd had a cool lunchbox when he was a kid. He probably had to take his lunch to school in a greasy old paper sack, which probably led to the other youkai kids tormenting him, which obviously led to his being so evil and twisted.

27. Zakuro's Mr. Microphone of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/biji/biji.html) -KQ: Thank goodness Zakuro didn't get hold of the even more powerful version of this wireless mike, which according to Jane and Michael Stern's The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste was called Mr. Microphone II, the "Executive Model"!

28. Zakuro's Mutant Breyer Adios Balls of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/drom/drom.html) -KQ: There are people out there who collect and customize Breyer plastic horses. (Avalon Jones and I are two of them. ;^) ) At a model horse show once, an exhibitor was wearing what looked like a brown plastic peanut on a necklace; turns out it was the, heh, scrotal area lopped off Breyer's very male "Adios" horse. (She also wore a hat that said "Ask me about my plastic oddities." Sue Rowe, we salute you!) Zakuro must've done the same with a mutant Breyer Adios, since his thing-on-a-string has three lumps, not two. (And that's how desperate I was to redefine jingle bells in the way-too-early hours...)

29. Zakuro's Non-Dairy Whipped Topping of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/srelgot1.html) -KQ: Zakuro's had me under his evil influence with this one for years; I can't bear to look at the stuff, much less put it in my mouth. Barely survived watching two dozen Japanese third-grade elementary kids in a pancake cooking class, slurping down the stuff out of squeeze-bags, and wearing it, and smearing it on any available surface, and...*shudder* Hey, I can't help being a weenie about it--blame Zakuro!

30. Zakuro's Non-Flammable Drop-Seat Footie Pajamas of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/contest.html) -KQ: The evil starts when the seat comes down! (Note: The Rules page said, "you can start with the one on this page: 1. Zakuro's Non-Flammable Drop-Seat Footie Pajamas of DOOOOOM!" So some people pasted that into their list as-is...but unfortunately, I had goofed and typed DOx5M, not the correct DOx6M! So for this entry only, both DOOOOOM and DOOOOOOM were counted as correct.)

31. Zakuro's Novelty Trick Dribble Glass of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/charat.html) -AJ: A standard gag item, probably familiar to our great-grandfathers, and as such somewhat lame by today's standards.  It's a normal-looking glass that proves to be impossible to actually drink out of because it dribbles all over you.  Don't ask me how this works. I've never actually used one. I can make an ordinary glass do embarrassing things just fine, thank you very much.

32. Zakuro's Peter Max Paint-By-Number of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/srstats.html) -AJ: Peter Max was a graphic designer who was popular in the early 1970s. His posters, stationery, and books were defined by his bold style of heavy black outlines, flat areas of color, and images of groovy guys 'n' gals doing way-out together things, and peace and love happening everywhere. I saw Peter Max peddling his prints on a TV shopping channel in the early 1990s, the poor sap.

33. Zakuro's Pink Panther Flakes of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/anth/nanth.html) -KQ: This misbegotten breakfast cereal of the early '70s was pink-frosted corn flakes that turned milk pink, and had a commercial jingle to the tune of the "Pink Panther" theme. Can't recall the real words, but on the playground it quickly became, "Pink Panther Flakes are pink, so pink that you will know how much they stiiiiink..."

34. Zakuro's Pinky Street Collection of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/raiyu/raiyu.html) -KQ: "Pinky Street" figures are hot collectibles in Japan, and are catching on worldwide too. They're adorable, sure...but people are so crazed to get them, lining up around the block for special releases, I figure Zakuro must have something to do with it. (Plus, he'd make a great one himself!)

35. Zakuro's Pocket Fisherman of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/rhybx/rhybx.html) -KQ: Zakuro's favorite Ronco creation, this combination rod and reel can make a shapely bulge in your pocket, or extend into a respectable pole... ;^)

36. Zakuro's Ponch & Jon Mego Dolls of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/an/gokucel.html) -KQ: Mego dolls were jointed, roughly 1/8-scale dolls, created in the likeness of popular North American comic book and TV heroes. Somehow the '80s TV show "CHiPS" qualified, and dolls of California Highway Patrol uniform-clad Ponch and Jon are still underfoot at flea markets. The plastic used for Ponch's face, by the way, has turned green with time--making him all the more appealing for Zakuro to have some unhealthy fun with.

37. Zakuro's Punching Nun Handpuppet of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/bunny/bunny.html) -AJ: You can buy these from Archie McPhee (http://www.mcphee.com)!  Who doesn't love the thought of a nun wearing boxing gloves? (Probably anyone who attended a Catholic school.)

38. Zakuro's Rainbow-Striped Toe Socks of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/arawa/arawa.html) -KQ: Okay, if Zakuro drew back his long flappy vest to reveal he was wearing thigh-high, rainbow-striped toe socks, could you look away?

39. Zakuro's Red Goose Shoes of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/feature/epofigs.html) -AJ: "Half the fun of having feet is Red Goose Shoes!" So went the dementedly cheerful (and somewhat creepy, now that I see the words written out) commercial jingle for this line of kids' shoes from the 1960s.  The commercials also touted the fact that, when you went to the shoe store and your mom bought you Red Goose Shoes, the friendly man behind the counter would allow you to receive a shiny golden plastic egg from the Red Goose Shoes logo statue, with a cheap disgusting toy inside!  There was some sort of mechanism inside the statue that allowed said eggs to drop from within it, as if the goose had "laid" the egg. Brrrrr.

40. Zakuro's Road Runner Viewmaster Reel of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/honey/honey.html) -AJ: The mighty Viewmaster is a classic toy that is like no other, with thousands of devotees and collectors today.  I had one too, and the Road Runner reel was one of my favorites, with its cool 3-D figures.  I'd like to know what happened to those little setups with the 3-D figures; where are they?  Do they still exist in some lucky person's collection, or were they destroyed?

41. Zakuro's Romper Stompers of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/zaisho/zaisho.html) -KQ: How to explain these...? Take a large empty tin can, punch two holes through opposite sides of it and thread a big loop of rope through, and then do it all over again so you've got a pair of them. Then stand on top of the cans and pull up on the loops, so you can walk along on top of the cans. Well, those made in plastic are Romper Stompers, as promoted on wild kiddiefest Romper Room, an American TV staple for some 30 years. (Why didn't show hostess Miss Sally ever see me in her Magic Mirror at show's end? I'd sit with fingers and toes crossed for luck, eyes squinched shut, hoping and hoping she'd see me like she saw Billy and Lisa and Joey and Kathy and Dave and Susie...but she never did...ZAKURO! AVENGE ME WITH YOUR MIGHTY ROMPER STOMPERS OF DOOOOOOM!!)

42. Zakuro's Shingo-Mama Apron of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/coupl/niko.html) -KQ: This was another unplanned Zakuro method; in the darkest hour of the all-night session captioning Zakuro images, it simply sparkled into mind. Would anyone even know who Shingo-Mama is, though? I hoped maybe a few people might...and was delighted when it turned out a few people did!

43. Zakuro's Spiderman Underoos of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/coupl/gotn.html) -AJ: This was stolen, at least in part, from Billy Crystal's song "You Look Marvelous," wherein at one point, addressing some foxy female that he desires, he says something along the lines of, "I'll put on my Spider-Man pajamas..." And anyone knows that Underoos are even more fun than pajamas!

44. Zakuro's Super-Secret Password-Protected Totally Private Diary of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/mizok/mizok.html) -AJ: Well, like, OMG, who WANTS people to SEE what you're SAYING in like your DIARY? It's like the most totally personal and private stuff EVAH!! and you have to be totally sure that it's kept safe.  (Nii probably reads Zakuro's diary, and he probably laughs at Zakuro about it.  That's probably why Zakuro is all messed up and stuff...)

45. Zakuro's Taxidermed Chihuahua of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/aain/aain.html) -KQ: Back home, going to flea markets is a favorite hobby. There's plenty of bizarre taxidermy to see, and the second-scariest was a taxidermed chihuahua. He was taxidermed in a sitting position...but one of his lower hind legs hadn't been positioned just right, so when one hind leg rested correctly on the ground, the other was skewed maybe a half-inch in the air! (And the scariest taxidermed thing, you ask? It's hard to describe, and so didn't get used as the Zakuro method, but...it was a roughly century-old orange tabby cat, with lidless round teddy-bear eyes set in, and a pair of bird wings hanging from its mouth. At its feet, the chickadee whose wings had been torn off to provide Puss happier hunting in the afterlife was posed running away on spindly wrapped-wire legs!)

46. Zakuro's Teletubbies Tune-In Time of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/doujinshi.html) -AJ: Some years back I got into lengthy e-mail conversations with a guy who was on an ML I was on at the time. Somehow the conversation got around to Teletubbies, which at that time were all the rage in the U.S., and he mentioned that raver kids in England liked to watch Teletubbies after they came home from being out all night. As dawn broke, they'd sit on the couch, still buzzed from the drugs and alcohol, and come back down to earth to the soothing, familiar children's show. So, one day I was home sick, and decided to watch it. I've never been more horrified by a kids' show in my entire life (Barney is horrifying too, but in an entirely different way). Five weird little shrill-voiced homunculi bounced around a creepy-looking oddly-scaled set that scarily resembled Hobbiton. The most frightening part was when they all decided to watch a little short film on the TV screens conveniently located in their torsos. The film was about two little British girls playing on a swingset. When it was over, the Teletubbies all hopped up and down and shrieked, "AGAIN! AGAIN!" And LO, in fact the whole entire short film showed ALL OVER AGAIN, from start to finish! And LO, the Teletubbies were most pleased and there was much merriment. And I crawled miserably back into bed, shaking violently and very, very glad that I was not 4 years old anymore.

47. Zakuro's "The Farmer Says" See-N-Say of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/vespa/vespa.html) -AJ: I had one of these as a child, and it was one of my favorite toys; I think they might even still be available. It's round and flat, has a handle on the top, and a dial-like thing in the center with a picture of a friendly farmer on it.  There are animal pictures around the edges. You point the dial at one of the pictures--the cow, for example--pull the string, and the recording says, "The cow says, 'Mooooo.'" The other animals will make their appropriate sounds.  (For some reason, one of the other animals was a coyote. Since when is a coyote considered a farm animal?)  I understand that, in an episode of The Family Guy, evil baby Stewie retrofits a similar toy to be a weather-controlling device.

48. Zakuro's Unwashed-For-Six-Months Gym Uniform of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/relar3.html) -AJ: Due to space constraints, this item's original title of "Zakuro's Unwashed-For-Several-Months Gym Uniform (With Bonus Jockstrap) of DOOOOOOM!" had to be shortened considerably...

So in all, Zakuro had a total of 48 methods of DOOOOOOM! But there were two additional images on the site as red herrings; their captions didn't start with "Zakuro's" so were not among his methods:

Zakuro Hears A Who...of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/eleph/eleph.html) -KQ: The way he was carrying the bells down just suggested an evil opposite of Dr. Seuss' Horton The Elephant, who carried a clover up with the Whos' dustspeck perched on top. Zakuro may have heard a Who, but he'd probably be all too inclined to "Boil that dustspeck!"

Hazel's Wacky Cat Snapper of DOOOOOOM! (at http://www.madkukkii.com/saiyuuki/eleph/eleph.html) -KQ: It was amazing how many people submitted this as "Zakuro's Wacky Cat Snapper of DOOOOOOM!" instead of Hazel's...Zakuro did his job well! ;^) This was just kind of a nonsense thing; right before the contest, I had watched (for the 140th time or so in a decade) a Mystery Science Theater 3000 parody of short "Snow Thrills" that included a new winter sport: "Now it's spit-spat to the Kattegat, where dangerous Danes camp it up with wacky cat-snapping! That's right, folks--tease 'em, freeze 'em, and snap 'em in half! Take these Freezy-Pop felines down to absolute zero and they crack like Turkish taffy. Then melt 'em in your mouth 'til the nuts pop through!"

A few folks tried submitting "Zakuro's Hundred-Grand Mind-Mess of DOOOOOOM!" as a method too--but very sorry, that's just the name of the contest. The methods were captioned on images of Zakuro.