KAGENAMI Q: So what was it about Star Blazers? You said, "We're really lucky, things could've been a lot worse--just look at Star Blazers."
SIMONE MAXWELL: Okay, this is going to sound horrible, but compared to the voice-acting quality that we get nowadays, Star Blazers was extremely primitive. Star Blazers was played broad. Back then they were thinking, "Oh, nobody's going to be watching this but little kids."
KQ: Are you thinking accents?
SM: Well, I forgot to mention this this morning when we were talking about Sailor Moon--most of the voice work in Sailor Moon is pretty good, but I've always really hated Sailor Mercury's voice. Have you ever heard her voice?
KQ: No.
SM: [imitates Sailor Mercury's voice] She talks like this! "Oh, Sailor Moon, whatever are we going to do?" [back to normal voice] It's a cartoony kind of a weird little British accent, and I'm like, "where are they getting this British accent for her?" And I hate the way the gal enunciates, too--I just hate it!
I mentioned it to Pam [Green], and she says, "I really think that she's just trying to enunciate clearly so kids can understand what's going on." I'm like, kids are going to grok it; they aren't going to need somebody to talk like Miss Nancy out of Romper Room on speed to understand what's going on.
But, see, in Star Blazers, if you watch it and you listen to the voices, the voice-acting in general--this is going to seem ludicrous, my saying this, because I complain about it so much--has gotten better. The voice-acting has some subtlely to it these days. Not in all cases, but think, there have been some things that we've liked. We liked Crusher Joe.
KQ: Yeah.
SM: The voice-acting in Crusher Joe was actually very good, very well done. But, see, think of how broad Star Blazers was...
KQ: I'm trying to think of an example.
SM: I am, too...Well, you know--like [in Orion's Irish-accented voice] "C'mon, Venture, let's go get some space java"--[back to normal voice] I don't think they did it that way in the original Japanese! [laughter]
KQ: But was it a matter of Star Blazers relying on accents because they had a limited number of voice actors?
SM: Yeah, that could be--like, "Fred, you're going to have to do six voices today, so..." And like, Royster was obviously...
KQ: Oh, man!
SM: I mean, nobody really talks like Royster, okay?
KQ: They don't?! [laughter]
SM: Well, okay, maybe that one fan that we knew in Maryland--she really talked like that... Well, okay, almost nobody really talks like Royster! [laughter] It was done cartoony in a lot of ways.
And that popped into mind about Duo--they're almost making Duo's voice cartoony. And I'm like, "I really wish you wouldn't do that, because..." But we've only seen one episode, you know, so maybe we're jumping to conclusions. But maybe they're like, "Oh well, he's American, so therefore he's going to talk like a surfer dude"--and from that standpoint, we're damn lucky they aren't all talking with funny accents.
KQ: Given Ronin Warriors...But of course, [imitating the Dynaman opening credits] "they're five good-looking Japanese boys..."
KQ & SM: "...from all walks of life!"
SM: Well, of course! I mean, the voice actors in Ronin Warriors, they actually all sound very similar. Well, except for Touma's...
KQ: And except for different degrees of lameness?
SM: No, it's their pitch and the tone--they all sound the same. If you listen to the voices in Gundam Wing--the Japanese version--Wufei sounds different than the guy that does Trowa's voice. The guy that does Trowa's voice is very quiet. The guy that does Heero's voice is very quiet, but in a completely different way--almost like he's about ready to kill you, which of course makes sense. Duo is happy! and friendly! and bouncy! Their voices sound different; they're obviously five different people. It's not like Heero and Trowa are done by the same voice actor and he's holding his nose when he does Trowa. It's not like Sylvester and Daffy Duck.
Yeah, you can quibble with the Wing English dub, there's things to quibble with, but you know what? It's actually a lot higher quality than we had any right to expect.
KQ: Especially after Brain Powerd! Brain Powerd was the latest dub out from Bandai, and--I mean, with Outlaw Star I thought the dub would suck, and then the first volume came in, and it was free so what the heck, and it was 'way better than I'd expected.
SM: Still, not very good.
KQ: Then, down the line we were desperate, picked up the dub of volume 5 because the subtitled tape was nowhere to be found--and it was not good. Now Brain Powerd is the latest thing--and that dub is so piss-poor!
SM: Well, we don't know that Bandai doesn't have eight or ten different voice crews, production crews. Maybe it was their third-string group; you never know. But with Wing, we really have no right to complain.
Now, Vampire Hunter D--why, why did they [Streamline, not Bandai!] obviously have a woman doing Dan's voice, [in a little British boy voice] and why did he have a cute little British accent like he was in the cast of Oliver?
KQ: And why did they have Paul Lynde back from the dead to do Hidarite?
SM: What was up with that? Did they think it was funny?
KQ: Did someone cash a bet on that? "I bet you won't do this--it's too lame!" "Oh yeah?!"
SM: "Do you think I'm funny?! Am I a clown to you?!" [laughter] I mean, they could've picked any number of celebrities, but why Paul Lynde? Although it could've been worse--it could've been Jerry Lewis! [in Jerry Lewis voice] "Yowww, Mrs. Lady, ohhh..."
KQ: Or it could've been Charles Nelson Reilly...
SM: Oh, the pain...It could've been Dr. Smith! [in Dr. Smith voice] "Oh, the pain, the pain of it all...Oh, Mr. Vampire Hunter, you're so tragic and noble, aren't you? Oh, I am so touched...not..."
KQ: What we're going to find out is that the Zero System has a voice...
SM: [in Gilbert Gottfried voice] "HELLOOO!" It's Gilbert Gottfried! "HEY! Don't you hate it when somebody comes and shoots you in the midsection? Oh my gawd, does that sting!" [laughter] [back to normal voice] Oh, no, please, say it isn't so...
I think if the Zero System had a voice, it would have to be a sound effect, like that weird little crumpy noise that the alien communicated with that guy with in It Conquered the World--you know, like the Charlie Brown parents slowed down...But the Zero System was not a character. It could've been, but it wasn't.
KQ: Sure, but I just was thinking of the worst thing possible to happen!
SM: Yep, that's pretty much it! Or they could give the 'bots voices--that would be crappy, wouldn't it? DS would sound like Barbra Streisand--[in Barbra Streisand voice] "Like budda! My scythe will go through you like budda!" [back to normal voice] And you also have to consider, it's on the Cartoon Network. I don't really know that the Cartoon Network is maybe not poking at its Toonami properties with a stick, going, "Wow, there's people watching this that aren't little kids!"
KQ: Well, what about that line--you know, Heero not getting to say, "I'm going to kill you?" [on the daytime broadcast version].
SM: That's because of the political situation in the United States now, with Columbine, and kids bringing guns to school. They cannot have him say that...
KQ: Like a direct-threat sort of thing--you can't have such a personal threat?
SM: Yeah. A kid will get thrown out of school these days for saying that sort of thing.
KQ: But yet they have the advertising campaign about "These five ruthless young men! They're ruthless! Grr!"
SM: Well, isn't it ruthless anyway to tell a girl, "I'm going to destroy you"? That's pretty fuckin' ruthless.
KQ: Yeah, but it's so broad...
SM: Well, again, we've only seen one episode. We don't know...
KQ: Still, that hurt it. It took some of the teeth out of it, by not letting him say the line.
SM: That's only because we know what the original line is. If you don't know what the original line is, wouldn't you still kind of go, "'Destroy'? Whoa, dude has a mental problem!"?
KQ: But didn't it have more effect when you first saw it in Japanese--I know it had a big effect on me when I saw it--and he said, "I'm going to kill you"? I was like, "Whoa!"
SM: But "destroy" can mean the same as "kill." It can mean, you know, "I'm going to rape you, dismember you, and roll around in your guts," as opposed to "I'm going to shoot you in the head with a beam gun."
KQ: I read "destroy" like "I'm going to tarnish your reputation." I mean, look at this school they're at--"I'm gonna be poopy and dribble something on your dress!"
SM: Did you ever read Carrie?
KQ: Carrie? Yeah.
SM: You read it, not seen the movie?
KQ: Yes, I read it. I've actually never seen the movie.
SM: Me neither. You remember the part at the very end when Carrie is dying, and she's talking to Sue, and she gets into Sue's mind and sees that Sue thinks Carrie's creepy and ugly and stuff but doesn't have any desire to undo Carrie, to get her in front of people and just undo her, which is what the other girl had? That’s what I'm talking about by "destroy." Completely humiliate--not only kill, but humiliate. That can be worse than killing, in a lot of ways.
KQ: That's true.
SM: There! We get into the theology of it, too!
KQ: Still, they could've just let him say...
SM: They could've, but they would've gotten in a lot of trouble. And I will be honest with you--I was surprised to hear them say "Oz" yesterday, because of what they said in TV Guide; I'd read that and kind of went, "Oh, I bet Ted Turner's not letting them say 'Oz'..."
KQ: Oh, when they wrote "Secret Society," with capital S's?
SM: But see, that was TV Guide. I'm losing respect for TV Guide at a rapid clip. I don't know why I ever respected them to begin with--I guess I thought they knew what they were talking about. After that Dragonball Z article, I don't know--with "Vegito"...
Anyway, I was thinking, "Oh well, Ted Turner owns The Wizard of Oz, and he's probably saying, 'You can't use the word 'Oz' to describe this evil organization.'" But apparently either he doesn't give a rat's ass, or they haven't told him...
KQ: Or the person who wrote the press release that TV Guide looked at rather than actually see an episode didn't see an episode either, and just wrote it off the top of their head. Which wouldn't surprise me, given some of the Princess Mononoke advertising things I've seen.
SM: I wonder how accurate that Princess Mononoke press kit is? I mean, if it's, like, written by people that have actually got some involvement with it...
KQ: I haven't read the press kit yet, I'm ashamed to say.
SM: They've actually got a couple articles in there, like from fairly hoity-toity magazines that are like, "Hey, this is a pretty cool movie." But I haven't read the press kit itself, and I don't know if it's like, [in a moronic voice] "Uhhh, this is a movie, and it's, uhhh, really cool, and there's blobby things in it..."
KQ: "It's the adventure of Samurai Boy...!"
SM: "...and little white animals that will make your children giggle with delight." It's like when I found that Animal Farm movie in the children's section [of a video store]--"What the hell are you people thinking?! What kind of crack are you smoking?" People are just stupid, that's all there is to it.
KQ: Let's wrap it up on that cheerful note. Want to do this again tomorrow after seeing the second episode?
SM: Sure! To be continued!
Go To Chapter 3 "What Were They Thinking?!" (on Bad Accents from Star Blazers to Giant Robo, Tomino's Monkeywrench, Photoshopping Heero's Shorts, the Quest for Two-Flap Swear Words, Duo Gets His Gun, and Gundam Wing Episode 2)
Go to Chapter 4 "'Dickweed' Would Gladden My Heart" (on Duo's Vintage Vocabulary, Heero's Mysterious Dripping, "Instructor Noin" Meets "Inspector Gadget," and Gundam Wing Episode 3)
Go to Chapter 5 "There Should Be About 57 Dots Between the 'Umm' and the 'Okay'..." (on the appeal of Noin, how Sid & Marty Krofft swayed Wufei, crunchy fruity rebels, fear of Freeza, and Gundam Wing episodes 4, 5 and 6)
Go to Chapter 6 "The Hell With the New Possibilities--She Wants To Plook Heero!" (on the World's Smallest Violin, the Unfortunately-Named General That-Part-Of-Your-Nose, Ringo Starr Meets Turn A Gundam, Memories of Pleading For Heero's Medical Prognosis, and Gundam Wing Episodes 6 and 7)
Go to Chapter 7 "Why Don't You Gundams And The Colonies Get A Frickin' Room?" (on Zechs Failing Shop Class, Quatre Raberba Jonny Quest Winner, Simultaneous Possession By Dr. Evil, Heero's Difficulties With Modern Technology, Pagan's Surfing For Smut, and Gundam Wing Episode 17)
Go to Chapter 7.5 "Silence Nowwwwwwwwwwww!" (on Heero's Holster, Explaining Headcheese, Sally and Cher Po, the Gundam Wing Voice Actors Revealed, Kudos For Correspondents, and Gundam Wing Episode 20)
Go to Chapter 8 "God Forbid Little Kids Gets Ideas..." (on the Great Houdini vs. the God of Death, Keeping Duo from Damaging Impressionable Young Minds, Oz Fashion Don'ts, Duo's True-Life Nature Adventure, a Left Turn into Trigun, and Gundam Wing Episode 23)
Go to Chapter 9 "Stay Away From Those Oz Burritos!" (on the Gundam Wing Language Rules, the Great Destroyer Vs. Great Mazinger, Trowa Markets the Oz Viewmaster, the Omnipresent Mr. B Natural, and Gundam Wing Episode 24)
Go to Chapter 10 "I Don't Usually Use 'Clown' In That Context..." (on Epyon's Sex Appeal, Duo Hitting the [Soy] Sauce, Wasabi Wars, Catherine Gets a Trowagotchi, Evoking Bozo, More Language Rules, and Gundam Wing Episodes 36 and 37)
Go to Chapter 11 "Ralphie Does Not Want To Sit On Santa's Lap Any More..." (on Howdy Doody's Enduring Fashion Influence, the Real Reason the Cartoon Network Wanted Gundam Wing, Duo's Cheeks, Epyon Vs. Sam The Snowman, Feeling Bad For Freeza, Singing the Praises of "Pants," and Gundam Wing Episode 39)
Go to Chapter 12 "He's Not Having Mental Problems--He's Having an Epyon Moment!" (on Push-Up Bras of the Future, More Things To Put In Heero's Pants, Soulmates Zechs and Shatner, Epyon and Secretariat's Love Child, the Nice People at McFarlane Toys, Bandai-ing Dolls About, and Gundam Wing Episode 41)
Return to MIND EDUCATION: Kagenami Q's Gundam Wing Doujinshi Reference Digs
This page was created March 7, 2000. Last updated November 23, 2004.