SIMONE MAXWELL: Yeah, that's it.
KQ: So, Epyon showed up...
SM: Yay, Epyon!
KQ: Finally Epyon showed up...
SM: Epyon will kick everyone's butt!
KQ: But before Epyon showed up, we had the Treize Faction show up...
SM: I like how they're splitting off into all these different factions--it's like, "Oh, we're the People-Who-Wear-Red-Shoelaces Faction." "And we're the People-Who-Don't-Believe-In-Santa-Claus Faction." "And we're the Disgruntled-Cafeteria-Workers Faction." "And we're the People-Who-Think-Shemp-Is-Better-Than-Curly Faction." And so on and so on...If there's any more factions--I mean, I already need a scorecard to keep track of them; if there's any more, I'm going to really be in trouble!
KQ: And all that time, Treize was just sitting it out, and sending off his Super Sugar Crisp boxtops or something to get Epyon--or, probably, a whopping pile of pieces of Epyon--"Hey, kids, build your own Evil Robot!"
SM: No, it's a customization kit for a Gundam!
KQ: An evil customization kit! [laughter]
SM: Just like Dr. Evil went to Evil Medical School, this is an Evil Customization Kit.
KQ: Well, y'know, it's like the narrator says, there's Epyon, except "he's evil!" [laughter]
SM: Which is a little weird to me--'cause, I mean, basically they're machines, so how can they be evil?
KQ: It's evil! What more do you need?
SM: Well...[thinking]...no, it's not. It's a machine. It's a tool--or, at least, that's what it was supposed to have been originally. It's because it's got the Zero System in it that...
KQ: That's what makes it evil!
SM: Well, if you want to equate the Zero System to a political party, then...[laughter]
KQ: I love Epyon.
SM: I do, too. Epyon's cool.
KQ: I have turned to the Dark Side. [laughter] I love Epyon. I've always loved Epyon.
SM: Let's face it--Epyon is sexy! [laughter]
KQ: Epyon has a tail!
SM: Epyon has a tail. We like that big, phallic tail--it just turns us on [laughter], it makes us all hot and sweaty...Now I'm starting to sound like Dorothy, don't you think? [laughter] [imitating Dorothy] "I get so excited watching these battles! Oh, God, oh..." [laughter] [back to normal] Relena's sitting there going, "Um, can I get you a cigarette or something? You are one weird mamma-jamma chick..." [laughter] I'm glad Relena's starting to get a little pissy in Dorothy's face because, you know, she's such a goddamn suck-up! It’s like, "Ohh, Miss Relena, could you possibly get any more perfect?!" And Relena's like, "What is up with you? You are such a butt-shit--get out of here, I don't want to listen to you any more!" [laughter]
KQ: And meanwhile, Duo and Hilde have shacked up.
SM: Yeah. You know, when we watched that in Japanese, I thought that there was an empty bottle of, like, Tanqueray gin or something on the table there.
KQ: Well, we could go back and check, because they could have Photoshopped that to change...
SM: Well, I looked at that scene very carefully yesterday, and it actually looks like an empty soy sauce bottle now.
KQ: Whoa, Duo's hitting the Kikkoman now! [laughter] Well, Hilde would drive anyone to that...[laughter]
SM: Well, it could've been worse--he could've been taking raw hits of wasabi.
KQ: I've done that.
SM: Yeah, me too--but not because I wanted to! [laughter] But I didn't inhale...
KQ: I couldn't inhale! [laughter] At this strange pseudo-Japanese restaurant in Kalamazoo, Michigan, a couple years ago, someone bet me two bucks that I couldn't eat this big stale lump of a ball of wasabi...
SM: Hey, kids, let this be a warning to you...
KQ: It was stale, so I didn't think it'd be too unbearable. So I put it in my mouth, but then it was still plenty hot and, like, the consistency of Play-Doh, and it spread out and adhered to the roof of my mouth! So I tried to wash it down with the nearest thing, which was a glass of ice-tea--that's a taste sensation I definitely can't recommend...[laughter] But I got it down, and I got two bucks! Spent the rest of the night dog-sick, but...
SM: Wowww, that two bucks probably went a really long way...
KQ: Hey, that two bucks bought me a doujinshi in Japan, man!
SM: Wow! [laughter] See the suffering you'll go through for doujinshi? I think that’s a true testament to the depth of your character, Miss Relena. How could you possibly get any more perfect? [laughter]
KQ: [sarcastic] Oh, I think I should do a Relena costume, don't you?
SM: [also sarcastic] I think you should, too! And I'll do a Dorothy outfit. I look so much like her...
KQ: You look like [Cowboy Bebop's] Spike Spiegel, man.
SM: [exploding] I do not look like Spike Spiegel! [laughter] And it was your fault, because you talked me into getting my hair permed! I did not go into the hairdresser’s and say, "Hey, I want to look like Spike Spiegel!"
KQ: Sure...[mercifully changing the subject] Okay, Duo shacked up with Hilde...
SM: Oh, yes. And he's hitting not only the sauce, but the soy sauce...
KQ: And Trowa has returned.
SM: And Trowa has amnesia!
KQ: Looks like he's punch-drunk or something--the Joe Yabuki hair doesn't help! So, Trowa has amnesia...
SM: Trowa's just tired of being intelligent. He decided to be dumb for a while to see if it was any easier. I like the way he keeps calling Catherine "Sis"...
KQ: She told him to.
SM: It just sounds weird.
KQ: She's convinced him that she’s his sister--[with girlish glee] it turns out she really is, you know!
SM: [a la Space Ghost] Really...?
KQ: Yeah, according to the [Episode Zero] manga that they did for the back-stories on the characters--[like a breathless fangirl] she really is! It sure looks that way! No, really! [laughter]
SM: [a la Brak] Huh.
KQ: So she's trying to protect him from his past. and so he won't remember...
SM: Because she wants to have a pet! A pet Trowa.
KQ: Well, who doesn't? [laughter] She keeps him with her all day long, she keeps an eye on him, she feeds him when he needs it--he's a Trowagotchi! [laughter]
SM: What was that incredibly awkward line that Hilde came out with when she and Duo were watching the circus--"I could really go for that clown," or something like that...I don't usually use "clown" in that context, you know? [laughter] For me, it's an insult--it's like, [in the famous words of a reluctant Butchie Boy Of The Day] "Cram it, clown!" [laughter] There, we've evoked Bozo! [announces triumphantly] We have evoked Bozo! [laughter]
KQ: And speaking of Bozo...Treize. [laughter]
SM: I really liked it in a previous episode when he and Heero were talking, and he was like, "Oh, well, Lady Une had this fondness for me, and that made her personality split." And it was like, it was her fault. He was showing absolutely no remorse or guilt or anything. And I'm like, "You creep! You bastard!"
KQ: He traumatized her by bathing in popcorn. [laughter]
SM: That would do it! That would break just about anybody's mind, I would think. Which makes Treize remind me even more of an old boyfriend of mine, so...
KQ: Really? He reminds me of an old boyfriend of mine, too!
SM: Is it his penchant for dressing like Napoleon that does it? [laughter]
KQ: Yep! [laughter] But let's not go there...
SM: Let's not dwell on yucky old boyfriends. 'Cause they all suck!
KQ: Damn straight! Let's go back to Gundam Wing...
SM: Okay. Gundam Wing is, in fact, more fun!
KQ: So, Epyon...
SM: Epyon, who is very cool, and evil...
KQ: One of my favorite bits--I have weird favorite bits from the series, and just like how one of my favorite things about Heero is how he flails at the sides of Wing's cockpit...
SM: He wouldn't dare do that to Epyon--Epyon would hit him back!
KQ: ...But he talks to Epyon in...
SM: Yeah, he addresses Epyon directly, which is interesting.
KQ: I mean, the guys talking to their 'bots is nothing new; it's like a partnership. But when Heero talks to Epyon in yesterday's episode--well, it's like when you're driving a [harness race] horse, you might talk that way to a really willful horse that you're afraid has something bad in mind, but you don't want the horse to know you're afraid and you're trying not to act afraid, but you know that if he boils over, he's going to make a sudden left turn and take out the rail...
SM: They can sense your fear, y'know!
KQ: It's like Heero's talking to him like that--"Don't, Epyon. Don't do that, Epyon." He's trying not to show it, but a tiny trace of vulnerability is there--Epyon has gotten to him. I just like that!
SM: You know what it kind of reminded me of? You know the Mystery Science Theater thing, where there were people in a car swerving madly through the mountains, and Crow is like, "Mrs. Wilson? Mrs. Wilson, you're-you're going too fast...Mrs. Wilson...!" Like somebody giving a little old lady driving lessons! [laughter]
KQ: It was fun yesterday when the Treize Faction became the...
SM: ...the White Fang! "We're not the Treize Faction any more--we're, uh, we're Rob Torkelson's Armada, Featuring Herman Benderchuck!" [laughter]
KQ: And what about Heero and Zechs?
SM: What about Heero and Zechs?
KQ: They had the big fight for no reason.
SM: Oh yeah, yeah, they had the fight for no reason. Then they're like, "What? What?" and smack themselves in the forehead--"What are we doing? D’oh!" [laughter] Because neither one of them realizes the horrible things that their poor, sweet, dear beloved Relena has been forced to do. [imitating Duke Dermail] "You must clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with your tongue!" [back to normal] By the way, I really like Duke Dermail's voice. He's funny--he sounds like the bad guy out of a Disney cartoon! Like Brom Bones, out of Disney's old Legend of Sleepy Hollow...[laughter]
KQ: Oh, hey, I need to mention--Spukie333 e-mailed us to point out that we forgot one of the Gundam Wing Language Rules!
SM: Oh no! What?
KQ: During daylight hours, characters can't say "damn it"; only "blast it." Although there's also the option of replacing "damn" with "you," as in Noin's oh-so-effective "You lasers!"
SM: That's right!
KQ: And then JunJun e-mailed to tell us about another great site with info on voice actors. It's the Internet Movie Database, at www.imdb.com, and it has the scoop on a slew of the voice actors for both the English-dubbed version and original Japanese version of Gundam Wing--names, pesonal data, other roles, you name it! Just go there and search for "Gundam Wing"!
SM: Coolness!
KQ: ...Whoops, we're here already! More tomorrow!
Go to Chapter 2 "Five Good-Looking Japanese Boys From All Walks Of Life!" (on Romper Room on Speed, Heero and Trowa and Sylvester and Daffy, the Princess Mononoke Press Guide, 'Handing It' To Paul Lynde, and More Praise For Gundam Wing Episode 1)
Go to Chapter 3 "What Were They Thinking?!" (on Bad Accents from Star Blazers to Giant Robo, Tomino's Monkeywrench, Photoshopping Heero's Shorts, the Quest for Two-Flap Swear Words, Duo Gets His Gun, and Gundam Wing Episode 2)
Go to Chapter 4 "'Dickweed' Would Gladden My Heart" (on Duo's Vintage Vocabulary, Heero's Mysterious Dripping, "Instructor Noin" Meets "Inspector Gadget," and Gundam Wing Episode 3)
Go to Chapter 5 "There Should Be About 57 Dots Between the 'Umm' and the 'Okay'..." (on the Appeal of Noin, How Sid & Marty Krofft Swayed Wufei, Crunchy Fruity Rebels, Fear of Freeza, and Gundam Wing Episodes 4, 5 and 6)
Go to Chapter 6 "The Hell With the New Possibilities--She Wants To Plook Heero!" (on the World's Smallest Violin, the Unfortunately-Named General That-Part-Of-Your-Nose, Ringo Starr Meets Turn A Gundam, Memories of Pleading For Heero's Medical Prognosis, and Gundam Wing Episodes 6 and 7)
Go to Chapter 7 "Why Don't You Gundams And The Colonies Get A Frickin' Room?" (on Zechs Failing Shop Class, Quatre Raberba Jonny Quest Winner, Simultaneous Possession By Dr. Evil, Heero's Difficulties With Modern Technology, Pagan's Surfing For Smut, and Gundam Wing Episode 17)
Go to Chapter 7.5 "Silence Nowwwwwwwwwwww!" (on Heero's Holster, Explaining Headcheese, Sally and Cher Po, the Gundam Wing Voice Actors Revealed, Kudos For Correspondents, and Gundam Wing Episode 20)
Go to Chapter 8 "God Forbid Little Kids Get Ideas..." (on the Great Houdini vs. the God of Death, Keeping Duo from Damaging Impressionable Young Minds, Oz Fashion Don'ts, Duo's True-Life Nature Adventure, a Left Turn into Trigun, and Gundam Wing Episode 23)
Go to Chapter 9 "Stay Away From Those Oz Burritos!" (on the Gundam Wing Language Rules, the Great Destroyer Vs. Great Mazinger, Trowa Markets the Oz Viewmaster, the Omnipresent Mr. B Natural, and Gundam Wing Episode 24)
Go to Chapter 11 "Ralphie Does Not Want To Sit On Santa's Lap Any More..." (on Howdy Doody's Enduring Fashion Influence, the Real Reason the Cartoon Network Wanted Gundam Wing, Duo's Cheeks, Epyon Vs. Sam The Snowman, Feeling Bad For Freeza, Singing the Praises of "Pants," and Gundam Wing Episode 39)
Go to Chapter 12 "He's Not Having Mental Problems--He's Having an Epyon Moment!" (on Push-Up Bras of the Future, More Things To Put In Heero's Pants, Soulmates Zechs and Shatner, Epyon and Secretariat's Love Child, the Nice People at McFarlane Toys, Bandai-ing Dolls About, and Gundam Wing Episode 41)
Return to MIND EDUCATION: Kagenami Q's Gundam Wing Doujinshi Reference Digs
This page was created April 26, 2000. Last updated November 23, 2004.