SIMONE MAXWELL: Yeah. Um, Noin and Quat and Trowa went into outer space and beat the hell out of...
KQ: And Noin's shirt. Noin's shirt was along for the trip.
SM: Talk about a fashion don't! [laughter] Ladies and gentlemen, I would really have hoped that Howdy Doody as a fashion influence would have died out by the 24th century, but apparently not! [laughter] Which I find highly disturbing. Mamas, don't let your Oz operatives grow up to dress like cowboys--it's just bad! And the fringe placement has got to go--you don't wear your fringe right over the front of your bosom; it just looks tacky!
KQ: Boy, Trowa can move fast, can't he?
SM: Yeah! [laughter]
KQ: He had the editors on his side, or something...
SM: He paid off the editors...
KQ: Suddenly he wasn't there!
SM: "Hey! I just noticed--Trowa, get out of that robot!" [laughter] "Nope, sorry." It takes five minutes to open the hatch of the space shuttle, 15 minutes to unlatch the robot from the hooks inside the shuttle--and you're just now noticing that he's going to leave? Poor Quat! But Quat was busy--he was stunned by Noin's shirt. [laughter] Like in Monty Python, he was stunned--he was shagged out after a long squawk or something...[laughter]
And so there were a lot of people beating each other up in outer space. And that one guy showed up who has always cracked me up because he reminds me a lot of an evil version of a teacher I had in high school, and this would be the skinny old guy with the pageboy hairdo and the glasses and the really tight pants.
KQ: Kans.
SM: Is that his name?
KQ: Yeah. The guy in charge of White Fang.
SM: Yeah. Whose name I couldn't pick up at first, and I thought his name was "Pants" or something. [laughter] "Oh, it's Major Pants! Okay..."
KQ: Well, Dragonball Z has Trunks...[laughter] That was Gundam Wing's selling point to Cartoon Network, y'know...
SM: "There's a character in it called Pants!"
KQ: "Wow! Trunks...Pants...It'll be another Dragonball Z!" [laughter]
SM: "And there's even General That-Part-Of-Your-Nose, so...!" [laughter] [notices the "SSS" in the license plate of the car ahead] Hey, look, it's the Sigue Sigue Sputnik car.
KQ: The license plate is "SSS-2"...
SM: Oh my God, that means there's another one! Arrggh!
KQ: And then Hilde went apple-shopping.
SM: Hilde went apple-shopping. And she bought the same apple 20 times! How did that happen...? And Duo left Hilde, boo-hoo...I like the fact that they were living in, like, a construction office. Did you notice that? It wasn't really a house or anything; it was like one of those little temporary structures they put up on a construction site.
KQ: Would you say it was a shack?
SM: Yeah.
KQ: So would you say they shacked up?
SM: Yeah, I guess I'd have to say that! [laughter] You set me up for that! That's no fair--you're supposed to feed me the straight lines, not the other way around! [laughter] So, anyway, there's was lots of fighting, and then there was Queen Relena, who was sitting around in her Barbie-Goes-To-The-Coronation outfit [laughter]...oh, and in today's episode, Heero gets to wear the organ grinder monkey's hat! Yayyy! [laughter] He gets to put on the stupid Oz uniform with the little organ grinder monkey's hat, and then he's going to get his tin cup and...
KQ: And brain Relena with the tin cup! *Whackity-whackity-whackity!* [laughter]
SM: "You bitch!" [laughter] I'm perfectly willing to bet that in the midnight version he said "I'm going to kill you" instead of "I'm going to stop you."
KQ: I sure hope so.
SM: There's been a lot of political maneuvering in the past couple of episodes--I can't keep track of...
KQ: But there's been a lot of other stuff going on, too. Quat got reunited with Trowa...
SM: Oh, and it was so cute when his eyes filled up with tears! Awww...We can't watch that without going "Awww...it's so cute!"
KQ: And Trowa is hopelessly twitterpated with Catherine.
SM: But he escaped, and now he's no longer her Trowagotchi! [laughter] Now he's Quat's Trowagotchi. Now Quat gets to take care of him and feed him...
KQ: "Trowagotchi" is right, right? I got to thinking about that yesterday--it's "tamagotchi," right? Not "tamagatchi"?
SM: Yeah, it's "tamagotchi."
KQ: I just wasn't sure, all of a sudden. Having never had one...
SM: Me neither. But I've got a Digimon.
KQ: Yeah, it's cool! I like your Digimon.
SM: It's evolved into two different things--I've taken it through its little life-cycle twice. Thanks for the Digimon, Josh! So, let's see...then Tuberoff got assassinated, yayyy! [laughter] Oh, I hated him. He was such a slime. He was a sleazebag. Not to mention the fact that he was really ugly.
KQ: He was named for his nose...the "tuber"...
SM: It looked very much like a potato, yeah! [laughter]
KQ: Hey, doofy names remind me--Duke Dermail...
SM: How do you spell that, anyway?
KQ: I had to check when I was typing in our last exciting chapter, so I looked in the "NewType 100-Percent Collection" book--it's not my favorite reference book for this show, but it was the closest book at hand--and it had his name romanized as "Duke Dermail," spelled out D-e-r-m-a-i-l, so that's the spelling I used. But then something struck me...I never paid attention to that character when we watched the show originally [in Japanese]; it was like, "Oh, that guy." But when the Vayeate turned up, you and I noticed that in the English version they were calling it "Vay-eight," just the way you'd assume it was pronounced from the way it's romanized on the model kit boxes and all--even though in Japanese it's pronounced "vy-eight," not "vay-eight." Well, in looking up Duke Dermail, I noticed that in Japanese it's pronounced "Der-mayu." So it's like they've taken the romanized spelling of names that have appeared somewhere--a model kit box, in print--and pronouncing them as they're spelled there, not how they were pronounced in Japanese.
SM: Uh-huh.
KQ: They've taken great pains to pronounce Heero's name as it was in Japanese, which is great. But then there's Wufei, which is pronounced "Oo-fei" in Japanese--but since it was romanized with a W in front, they're saying "Woo-fei." And, like, Quatre--they're saying it the way it looks, Q-U-A-T-R-E, "Katra." In Japanese it's pronounced Ka-to-ru--there's no "a" sound at the end.
SM: I couldn't even pronounce his name when we were watching it in Japanese--that's why I call him "Quat"! And also because the spelling, when you look at it, you want to pronounce it "qua-tre," which reminds me of Quatro, and isn't that what Char called himself in, what, Double Zeta [Gundam]?
KQ: And Zeta [Gundam].
SM: And I was, like, "Well, that's stupid, 'cause they've already had a character called that...are they saying this kid is Char?"
KQ: No, that's Zechs' job. [laughter]
SM: And he does it quite well, I might add...[laughter]
KQ: [imitating Zechs] "I'm depressed. Leave me alone with my cuppa joe." [laughter]
SM: He was sitting in a bar. You don't get coffee in a bar!
KQ: He was drinking out of a coffee cup.
SM: It was whiskey! You saw the bartender...
KQ: Okay, it was soy sauce. [laughter]
SM: Yeah--he and Duo have been hitting the soy sauce together.
KQ: Weren't you impressed by Duo's display of...
SM: Oh, yeah, that was great! Duo told off a roomful of grown-ups! And he was very polite about it, too--he opened the door for them, and gestured with his chin to get out...gestured with his generous cheeks [laughter]. He has serious chipmunk cheeks. That's always bugged me about the character design--he's cute as hell, but those chipmunk cheeks have always bothered me. Usually by the time you're 15 or 16 you start losing your baby fat, y'know...
KQ: There's a doujinshi where the scientists or someone make, like, a combination of all five of the guys, and the end result had Duo's cheeks--a little arrow pointing 'em out, "Duo's cheeks"...
SM: Oh dear! [laughter] That's like that one doujinshi where Duo and Heero give birth to Garrod [of Gundam X] "scientifically"...
KQ: What's that have to do with Duo's cheeks? You're thinking of a different set of cheeks...! [laughter]
SM: Well, you said a combination of all five...
KQ: Oh, okay.
SM: ...and I was like, "Oh, are we doing selective breeding here? You know, the 'scientific' method..."
KQ: Garrod does look like Duo crossed with Heero.
SM: Yeah, he does. As a matter of fact, that's what you were referring to him as when we first saw the show--"Yeah, he's like Duo and Heero's love-child." Of course, the show was just so unbelievably stupid...Do you think they're going to bring Gundam X over in English? That would really be painful!
KQ: Maybe they would go with Turn A Gundam--just because of the [mecha designer] Syd Mead tie-in there, so they could push...
SM: Syd Mead, who forgot the pants on the back of Turn A's legs--oops! "It's a breech-clout, you know..."
KQ: Well, a few years ago, when the Sci-Fi Channel picked up The New Adventures of Gigantor, which was the Iron Man 28 anime series from 1980--the color series--they told TV Guide that after that they were going to air a sequel series. That was going to be the Iron Man 28 FX series, which was done in Japan, what, around 1992? 1993?
SM: I'm completely blanking on this...
KQ: It was the "new, futuristic Gigantor" that was going to follow it...
SM: Was it going to be one of those computer animation jobs, like the new Transformers series?
KQ: No, it already existed--Iron Man 28 FX. It was, like, Shotaro--you know, Jimmy Sparks--was grown up and was now the guy in charge, and now there were these other kids that had a...
SM: [exploding] There's always kids! Why is that?!
KQ: I don't remember if they had the same short pants that Shotaro had when he had Iron Man 28...
SM: No, seriously--I mean it! If you were a giant robot designer, would you give it to an 8-year-old kid? "Here, kid--I know you're 8 years old and would rather be playing basketball or playing in the dirt, so here's a giant robot!" I mean, hel-lo...! [laughter]
KQ: Why do you think so many kids end up with them accidentally? And why do you think when giant robots are sentient, they choose kids?
SM: So they can smack 'em around! [laughter]
KQ: Exactly!
SM: Except they made a mistake when they picked Heero, because Heero smacks back.
KQ: Except with Epyon.
SM: Except with Epyon, 'cause he knows Epyon can pick him up and go *fling*!
KQ: Oh, and then there was the Epyon Christmas card in yesterday's episode!
SM: Oh yeah, yeah! [laughter] We could get the cel to that and then, like, add a little Santa hat...
KQ: [a la Santa in A Christmas Story] "HO, HO, HO..." [laughter]
SM: Ralphie does not want to sit on Santa's lap any more... [laughter]
KQ: What was the name of the Burl Ives snowman in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
SM: Wasn't it...uh, Sam? Sam the Snowman.
KQ: Yeah! Sam was actually in that scene yesterday, but Epyon hadn't looked where he was sitting down...
SM: Oh no--Epyon squooshed Sam the Snowman! [laughter]
KQ: Oh, it's tragic...
SM: [a la Burl Ives] "You know Dasher and Dancer and--auggghh!" [laughter] [becomes a frantic news reporter] "Sam the Snowman meets a horrible end! Details at 11!" [laughter] [back to normal] Now, wait a minute--Burl Ives is already dead. You aren't supposed to be saying bad things about dead people.
KQ: No, he was cryogenically frozen. To be Sam the Snowman.
SM: I guess! He did bear a suspicious resemblance to Burl Ives...
KQ: It was uncanny, wasn't it? Like the Uncanny X-men, it's the Uncanny Snowmen. [laughter] You will laugh at anything, won't you?!
SM: Yes, I will. Give me a break! It's early in the morning. I've had a long week. Can't you tell by the tremor in my voice? I'm traumatized...
KQ: I just thought...
SM: ...And I'm still horrified at Noin's shirt! [bursts into song] "It's Howdy Doody time..." [laughter] It's Howdy Doody's lost sister! And what is Howdy Doody's sister's name?
KQ: Noin Doody?
SM: No. It was Debby Doody!
KQ: [impressed] Was it?
SM: Yes! Howdy Doody had a sister, and her name was Debby Doody...Wow! I have stunned you into silence!
KQ: We have evoked...Debby Doody. [pauses] It doesn't have quite the same ring as 'Bozo,' does it? [laughter]
SM: No, nothing has the same ring as Bozo...
KQ: Especially around the collar! [laughter]
SM: [imitating Bozo] "I've got an air filter around my neck, boys and girls!" [back to normal] I like the scenes in the circus where Trowa seems to be, like, "Why am I wearing this stupid outfit?" Before he had the amnesia he didn't seem to care one way or the other, but after he got the amnesia he was like, "Do I really have to dress like this? Do I really have to wear a garbage bag around my waist? I just don't get it!" Poor Trowa..."Oh, okay, Sis--I'll do anything you tell me." That's always just seemed really...
KQ: She's got him brainwashed.
SM: I've never known anybody in my life who ever actually referred to their sister as "Sis." Never. Never ever.
KQ: Except in Hanna-Barbera cartoons.
SM: You only see it on TV, like in The Brady Bunch and shit like that. Not to say I ever watch The Brady Bunch.
KQ: Oh, certainly not.
SM: No, of course not. [laughter] And so it just seems really artificial and contrived and stupid to me...
KQ: Wasn't it cool when DS turned up yesterday to save everybody's bacon?
SM: Yeah, that was cool!
KQ: And they were playing "Rhythm Emotion," the second theme song...
SM: They started playing that a few episodes ago.
KQ: Yeah, back where Heero first cut loose in Epyon. I hope they might find a place to use some of the visuals from that second opening title.
SM: Hey, we're in the homestretch--today's episode 40, so there's just nine more to go! And then there won't be any more...oh no, what will we do?!
KQ: Our lives will have no meaning! But I betcha they'll get hold of [the Gundam Wing OVA series] Endless Waltz, and then have that as a special presentation, like they've done with the...
KQ and SM: Garlic Junior Saga.
KQ: Ooh. Ahh.
SM: I just can't take that show seriously, I'm sorry...
KQ: [wearily] How come Freeza's still around?
SM: [imitating Freeza] "I'm Freeza! I just want to die! Leave me alone!" [laughter] [back to normal] Poor Freeza...I'm going to have the "Feel Bad For Freeza" Web page. "If you feel bad for Freeza, click here. If you want to kick Freeza's ass, click here." Of course, there probably already is one...Have you ever gone to the Anime Turnpike and searched under "Dragonball"? It’s scary how many Dragonball pages there are. There are probably as many Dragonball pages in the world as there are flies! I mean, there’s, like, 57 Trunks pages...
KQ: Well, there’s lots of room for a "Pants" page.
KQ and SM: [bursting into an MST3K ditty] "Pants! Pants! Sing the praises of Pants...!" [laughter]
KQ: Y'know, sometimes we scare me...
Go to Chapter 2 "Five Good-Looking Japanese Boys From All Walks Of Life!" (on Romper Room on Speed, Heero and Trowa and Sylvester and Daffy, the Princess Mononoke Press Guide, 'Handing It' To Paul Lynde, and More Praise For Gundam Wing Episode 1)
Go to Chapter 3 "What Were They Thinking?!" (on Bad Accents from Star Blazers to Giant Robo, Tomino's Monkeywrench, Photoshopping Heero's Shorts, the Quest for Two-Flap Swear Words, Duo Gets His Gun, and Gundam Wing Episode 2)
Go to Chapter 4 "'Dickweed' Would Gladden My Heart" (on Duo's Vintage Vocabulary, Heero's Mysterious Dripping, "Instructor Noin" Meets "Inspector Gadget," and Gundam Wing Episode 3)
Go to Chapter 5 "There Should Be About 57 Dots Between the 'Umm' and the 'Okay'..." (on the Appeal of Noin, How Sid & Marty Krofft Swayed Wufei, Crunchy Fruity Rebels, Fear of Freeza, and Gundam Wing Episodes 4, 5 and 6)
Go to Chapter 6 "The Hell With the New Possibilities--She Wants To Plook Heero!" (on the World's Smallest Violin, the Unfortunately-Named General That-Part-Of-Your-Nose, Ringo Starr Meets Turn A Gundam, Memories of Pleading For Heero's Medical Prognosis, and Gundam Wing Episodes 6 and 7)
Go to Chapter 7 "Why Don't You Gundams And The Colonies Get A Frickin' Room?" (on Zechs Failing Shop Class, Quatre Raberba Jonny Quest Winner, Simultaneous Possession By Dr. Evil, Heero's Difficulties With Modern Technology, Pagan's Surfing For Smut, and Gundam Wing Episode 17)
Go to Chapter 7.5 "Silence Nowwwwwwwwwwww!" (on Heero's Holster, Explaining Headcheese, Sally and Cher Po, the Gundam Wing Voice Actors Revealed, Kudos For Correspondents, and Gundam Wing Episode 20)
Go to Chapter 8 "God Forbid Little Kids Get Ideas..." (on the Great Houdini vs. the God of Death, Keeping Duo from Damaging Impressionable Young Minds, Oz Fashion Don'ts, Duo's True-Life Nature Adventure, a Left Turn into Trigun, and Gundam Wing Episode 23)
Go to Chapter 9 "Stay Away From Those Oz Burritos!" (on the Gundam Wing Language Rules, the Great Destroyer Vs. Great Mazinger, Trowa Markets the Oz Viewmaster, the Omnipresent Mr. B Natural, and Gundam Wing Episode 24)
Go to Chapter 10 "I Don't Usually Use 'Clown' In That Context..." (on Epyon's Sex Appeal, Duo Hitting the [Soy] Sauce, Wasabi Wars, Catherine Gets a Trowagotchi, Evoking Bozo, More Language Rules, and Gundam Wing Episodes 36 and 37)
Return to MIND EDUCATION: Kagenami Q's Gundam Wing Doujinshi Reference Digs
This page was created April 29, 2000. Last updated November 23, 2004.